INTO THE KITCHEN - BLUE COLLAR SPAGHETTI SAUCE

By Greg Evans

What happens when you are simply too exhausted from working that 40 hour week, taking care of the kids, mowing, vacuuming, fixing dressers and closet doors, this and that and every other aspect of life that is expected of your energy and time and your feet are killing you and yet, you are in the mood for spaghetti but don't feel like properly preparing a sauce from scratch. More than not these days I see people, even families with children not putting forth the effort to prepare a home cooked meal and instead going out to a restaurant or calling in a take out order, or purchasing processed foods from the grocery store like frozen pizzas, TV dinners, etc. Now that is all good and well three or four times a month but to do it three or four times a week is: 1) Eating dishes high in salt, saturated fats and sugar which eventually will cause you health problems and 2) It is teaching the kids poor eating habits so they grow up to be fat and on pills like you. We have talked before at length about the decline of society in the fact that mediocrity is not only accepted but expected, divorce rates through the roof, the party lifestyle being embraced by young adults who should be raising families, giving out degrees to anyone with a pulse wrecking the job prospects for people with truly great work ethics. It goes on and on and the poor eating habits of people ties into the whole degeneration of a planet.

Tonight I want to talk about a great way to improve a sauce for spaghetti that is easy enough to prepare, doesn't take too long and once it is ready the kids will devour it. First you purchase a jar of Classico Tomato and Basil sauce (because it is the only sauce on the shelf that doesn't have added sugar). What is it with everyone adding sugar to the sauce. Forget the acidity nonsense, it never hurt anyone in Italy for 500 years and now suddenly it bothers everyone. Purchase a bag of fresh carrots, celery, onions, then some fresh garlic, peppercorns, fresh basil, thyme and oregano (though dried is fine also). I already assume everyone has olive oil to sauté the garlic and onion because in this day and age nobody uses butter or crisco fat anymore.

Intro:
Get a large pot of water on the stove with the burner on high.

Part I: (While bringing the water to a boil)

Mince two carrot sticks
Chop half a large white onion
Crush and mince five garlic cloves
Chop celery
Chop herbs

Part II: (Add spaghetti to boiling water and make sure to cook aldente. Soft spaghetti like they serve in restaurants is not spaghetti!)
Saute ingredients listed above in a skillet with olive oil until onions are translucent. Be careful not to burn the garlic! Pour in the jar of Classico sauce and then add about a half a cup to a cup of cold water or chicken broth and if you have it, add a 1/4 cup of red wine. Also add a few peppercorns. Now you turn the burner on low and let simmer for 30-45 minutes stirring often and adding water or broth to keep from getting too thick.

One day I will write down my grandmother's home made spaghetti sauce from scratch and once you have that no jar spaghetti sauce will ever make the nut. The taste buds will be spoiled. And if you can help it, avoid using any butter, sugar or salt in the preparation of this dish because it will ruin it. This dish doesn't need the additives. The flavors blend together perfectly and once you pour the sauce over the noodles add parmesan cheese on top, fresh if you can get a hold of it. Outstanding. You'll never eat anything better in a restaurant anywhere. At least I haven't. Even my home cooked salmon dish is better than anything I have ever had in a restaurant and I don't use any salt, sugar or butter. Get off your lazy behinds and get into the kitchen and start working ingredients together. You might impress yourself. And at least your arteries will be thanking you profusely after all those years of abuse and neglect.

THE INDIGESTION REPOSITORY

By Greg Evans

I was planning on writing a political rant but I can't figure out what to write anymore that is more bizarre then the political upheavals strangling governments around the globe today. It has become like a fungus farm. The whole world is on the verge of implosion and all people can think about is what kind of fried chicken they are going to wait in ungodly long lines to purchase. Traffic and food lines are the norm and anyone with any shred of nostalgia remembers a time before all of this. Before the global warming and the bans on super size sodas and extra salted french fries on top of banana splits. Before Greece became a state of hippies and occupiers instead of lucrative wineries and olive orchards. Everything is moving backwards and it is reverberating across the farthest reaches of the most endless oceans. Every country except for maybe Iceland and Andorra are having some form of political turmoil whether it be violent protests, financial market crashes, communistic ideologies, internet porn issues, foreign born people being put into highest office of a nation and then shredding it to pieces, civil war, diversity problems, amnesty issues and heaven only knows what else.

It has become a sodomites paradise and anyone charged with a crime only has to plead dumb and on food stamps and are granted an acquittal. Once a world of fascinating cultures and great food, interesting music, vibrant clothing and colorful languages has turned into the sludge underneath the outhouse, the septic fluids stinking up the neighborhood and all anyone can do is wrap a cloth over their nose and pray that taxes aren't jacked up another 30%. Why should the able bodied poor have to work when they can collect $33,000 a year for sitting on their sofas and eating fritos. These rotten drunks with their unwashed mane and overgrown lawns have become the new Jones's. Forget working like a dog for a living and trying to raise a wholesome family. It's all about getting an easy lay, buying cigarettes and 40 ounce malt liquors with your government debit card and sitting out in the yard on a pissed drenched couch taking in Riki Lake and the House wives of New Jersey. I read about those two bums about to face the music for a possible 30 year jail sentence. I'd give them the noose. Everything is turned upside down and I have a small inkling of who to blame. It has been a cumulative effect and somehow, due to the fact that the average person is a good-for-nothing itch, the rest of society has to make up for their degeneration. I've had it with everything. I know you tuned in tonight to read something uplifting or humorous but I'm simply not in the mood.