This morning I couldn't help but wake up and throw half a pound of bacon into the skillet. The smell of bacon sizzling in a frying pan is like no other smell in the world. The only thing that comes close to it in terms of perfection is the aroma of an Ashton cigar or maybe a freshly poured Guinness. But really, the smell of bacon cooking, any time of the day, will make even a Vegan's mouth water and having bacon available, makes me wonder how anyone could say no to a nice fat helping. Pun intended. Some days it is just nice to fry up a good helping of bacon and stick it on a buttery English muffin and other days it goes well with eggs smothered in cheddar cheese. It goes well on pizza and wrapped around scallops or really any seafood for that matter. It goes well on a salad, with chicken, in a quiche, in any casserole or simply blended into your smoothie in the morning. Today I had two separate helpings. One on my eggs and cheese between two English muffins dripping with butter and the second time around plain. As always it hit the spot and was followed by a few hours of heartburn but nothing a couple of tums couldn't cure. As I sat in my recliner, feeling myself getting fatter, I wondered if it was possible to create a dish that bacon wouldn't go well with? The more I thought about it, the more I convinced myself that it would be an impossible feat. Bacon goes with everything. I think it would even go splendidly in a Miso soup with the seaweed and tofu. It is a superfood for the taste buds. There is nothing like it. Salt and butter can go with nearly everything but there are instances where both salt and butter ruin a dish, for example oatmeal. Neither salt nor butter enhance the flavor of the oatmeal but some crushed up bacon make it medieval good.
Earlier today I was watching a show about Henry VIII and his Hampton Court home. The majority of the show was about Henry and his wives, his fall from the horse that made him lame and crazy and the chaos that followed. It talked about the elegance of the palace where he lived and his obesity but then they got into why he became obese. One man located an old recipe from that time period, a bone marrow custard that he prepared and tasted on camera. He admitted that it was rich and very beefy, but also said that it wasn't exactly appetizing. The first thought that came to mind was, imagine Henry made the custard with fried bacon instead of bone marrow. He would have eaten a thousand of those little custards and died at 56 weighing 800 pounds instead of the paltry 400. The show said that the last fitted armor that was made for him had a girth sized 54. That is enormous. That can pretty much incapacitate a man and as for his attraction to the women you can imagine it dwindled. For Henry it did and one wife was so appalled by his disgusting appearance she wouldn't even kiss the ogre. Lucky for her it only ended in divorce instead of his affection for head removal. The king had a bad leg that he dragged about that he got from a fall jousting. And it is said after his fall that he may have injured his cerebral cortex which was why he became such a rotten bastard, but this hiccup in his personality, in my opinion, could have been cured with three square meals a day topped with the finest fried bacon accessible. You'd think even back then the queens would know that the quickest way to a man's heart was through his stomach. Henry knew it all too well only he went after the wrong dishes to combat his depression and habitual pain in the leg.
What is bacon you ask? The best bacon is streaky bacon and comes from pork belly. It is either cured by soaking in brine or dry curing in salt or smoked with different kinds of wood, peat, corn cob etc. Takes around 18 hours to cure bacon.
And no, turkey bacon is not a substitute! It is probably one of the leading causes of depression next to the seven day work week. How many of the world's problems could be solved by people starting off their day in a good mood and keeping that mood flying high by actually sitting down and enjoying a great meal? That line could easily be taken out of context by the plant eaters, but think of it metaphorically. Lose the discipline for a day and fry yourself some extra fatty bacon.
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